I am going to US. This was what I always dreamed of. I have worked days and nights with this dream. Mine dream was to see the world; to earn a lot; In India this was not going to be possible.

I heard from mine friends about the super big malls, the beautiful and grandeur beaches, the savvy and the most happening discos, the ultimate casinos and the splendor of US. I have seen mine friends going to all those amazing places and posting those photos on the net for people like me to see. I always felt like they are enjoying the best part of their lives but I am not and I don’t do something then that time will never come for me. I always got good rank in the class; I was favorite and most talented in mine class so why not me?

But thanks God, today I got a chance too.

Here I have my old parents who have worked hard to give me the best education. They always had a dream that one day I will get a good job. I will earn and then their best time will start. But they never thought I will do so well. Going to US, no they never thought that I will make it possible. When I told them about this they seemed to be very happy. But that was a fake one; I guess.

But they are little worried. In the two years after I left college and joined my father in his business. He is now too dependent on me. He needs my help for everything. His old eyes are not able to keep account. His poor health doesn’t allow him to work continuously for hours without rest. I was helping him in everything, in business, in bringing his medicine, in talking and sharing the good experience when he got bore.

I was one with whom shared his achievement. I was the one who laughed when he joked with customers. I was who companied him in boring business parties or some other business occasion like that.

He is in the sixties and with the hearth problems, diabetes and weakness the days are very limited for him. Like me he is also not able to decide what is important; going to US and earning a lot or just to be near him and give him support till his last days.

What is the reason of mine going there? Money, yes Money but I will get that money after loosing those movements of mine life that I can never get back. Never even after spending all that I will earn in the 5 years abroad.  I am fortunate have mine parents with me but then, It’s a choice; Parents or Money, a difficult one. But then I have to make the choice there is no other way.

Ya! I do think that I am much more conscious about this matter that would have been  a trivial one for others. I am not the first people who have got the job overseas.

I know well mine stay there will never be a fun.  Fun comes not from outside but from inside. It’s feels that I will be happier when I will achieve this or that but then after we are able to get that, happiness seems to be distant dream. Our hearts never get satisfied with anything old; he is in constant search for something new. And how can anyone enjoy pleasures of being abroad when he knows that even a day will be difficult to pass for his dear ones when he is not there. For this someone needs to be emotional blind. A utter selfish. I muse over this night and day and even after hours of self talking I am not able to suppress what negative emotions are coming inside my mind.

Most of the bad decision that we take that’s because of the pressure; pressure to be on top, to be ahead of our competitor, or it could be any reason.   And when at the end, the decision comes out to be a major reason for the problems we have a excuse. We can always blame that external pressure. But then what to do when there is not a decision but there is a choice. Whom to make responsible for this case and who will be our scapegoat.  You know well that in the end you will have to suffer and you have a major part in creating those sufferings.

To gain something we have to loose something. But we have to make sure that we don’t buy a piece of coal for a piece of gold.